7 October 2006

Cock-a-hoop

I went to a cock show.

Ok, so technically it was 'puppetry of the penis' and an insight into the 'ancient art of genital origami'. But it was show about a cocks. A cock show.

You have to hand it to these guys, cashing in on what I imagine all blokes do and experiment with anyway. May as well entertain, have a laugh, and make some money by putting it all (and I mean ALL) out there.

And there is absolutely no point in being all highbrow and pious about it. Is it 'art'? No. It is fun. And funny. And a smidge squirm inducing. You may as well call a spade a spade I say. Or in this case, a cock a cock. You get what you're given, in that penis puppetry is essentially making objects and animals out of that oh so versatile appendage. To be snooty or superiour about such a concept is, frankly, a waste of time. If you don't want to see a bit of cock, do not buy a ticket.

But buy tickets they did. In their multitudes. I don't think, in all my years of absorbing culture, I have ever seen the Queen's Hall so busy. At the last count, four teachers from school, two doctors, and a secretary from the middle school had been sighted. Plus countless repressed Hexham housewives, young women up for a laugh and dressed to the nines, and a couple of dragged-along husbands. It was a cross between a hen party, stand up comedy night, and a naturist theatre trip. An experience unlike any other.

Highlights included 'the hamburger', 'the sea anenome' (complete with reflex disappearance when prodded), and the piece de resistance of one of the artistes being propelled along on a skateboard by a fan, using his, ahem, as a windsurfer.

I, being of the wrong sex and all, am not sure if these feats of human ridiculousness require much skill or certain, I don't know, flexibilities, but it was clear that a great deal of time, effort and practice had gone into each trick. All credit to them, they have the confidence and the girth to take them far. And lets face it, you have to be nothing less than cocky to show the world your cock (pun very much intended). They were from Australia though. Figures.

I'm sure glad the theatre is well heated mind. A chilly stage could have proved disastrous.

1 comment:

Chris said...

You can imagine them as 15 year olds sat in a bedroom smelling of boy saying things like "can yours do this then".........amazing they have made so much money out of what all boys do naturally. Frankly am very impressed you went - I fear I am too old and snooty.