We are going to make an album. A Concept Album of Ambiance.
To make this album, we are going to record both sounds and noises. Yes, both Sounds and Noises. It is a radical new movement.
The track list will be as follows:
Passing Night Trains
Breath of a Sleeping Person
Birdsong (though not woodpigeon)
And the bonus track, approximately fifteen minutes after the last listed recording, will be Caterwauling. Literally a wailing cat. It will shock.
We will travel around the country wearing headphones and carrying all our electrical equipment. We shall be mostly silent as we go about recording these elemental Sounds and Noises. And of course a documentary crew will be following us. The creation of such an album is perfect documentary material. Intrepid artistes on location. The cameras will capture our patience and perseverance as we quietly climb trees to birds' nests, waiting for them to sing. They will watch us as we daringly loiter on the edge of a busy motorway for seven hours, meticulously sorting the Land Rovers from the Lamborghinis. They will film us scorching our fingers and heating our cheeks as we successfully pick up the subtle and fluid flickers of a flaming log fire.
And they will gaze on with morbid fascination as one of us prods a stray cat in the street, whilst the other bravely holds the mic up to its snarling features.
All in the name of Art.
This will be most high-brow and make us Indie STARS. And, on the back of this and as a side project, I shall start up a band called the Carotene Receptors and write songs about organic growth, vegetarianism and lasers.