22 August 2009

Anecdote

Once upon a time there was a young man who loved and lived in London. He was fond of independent cinemas, weeping men and banana milk. He had emotional relationships with buses, and eyes that were too blue for his soul. He wandered the city streets endlessly, exploring, observing, searching...

One sunny day his travels took him to Hampstead Heath. The sun's rays were bright and gently warming, though not particularly penetrating. The young man, however, felt unusually hot as he settled himself amongst the buttercups. 'It's a bit George Michael... a bit Wham', he thought to himself, absent mindedly adopting the lingo of the little rascal that often snapped at his Conversed heels. He began to worry that he was ill, perhaps suffering a mild cardiac arrest. In an attempt to cool his moistening personage he undid the top button of his chaste checked shirt. It was not just coils of manly chestnut chest hair that this exposed however. The unmistakable sight of a pyjama-top collar could also be glimpsed. He was wearing his nightclothes still.
On further investigation it transpired that he was also pyjama-bottomed, fettered in both flannel sleeping-chinos and tight denim skinnies. The young man was alarmed. It was not his body that was ailing after all, but his mind.

In a semi-conscious daze he must have skipped a morning step. He was dapper, well turned out, smart as ever - but wearing one too many layers due to delirious oversight. The young man had walked through London town oblivious to the fact that he was in his pyjamas and madness was in his soul. Now that he knew, he leapt like a live-wire, all a-flutter and embarrassed, and hopped hurriedly onto the nearest bus. He was not dying of a heart-attack, as previously feared, rather of mortification.

As evening drew on and the rascal arrived, she was regaled with this tale of an addled mind and signs of insanity. Horror still resided in the young man's eyes as he imparted the sorrowful story, yet the rascal's weary spirits were cheered. She laughed. She laughed and laughed until she cried, forever grateful to the young man who wore his pyjamas out in the world.

3 comments:

F said...

This just made me laugh SO much.

Nicky said...

agreed.

Ma said...

Brilliant.