23 March 2008

Tally Ho Chaps!

Yes, I may technically be an adult. And yes, I am a student of English literature.

Now that that is taken care of and acknowledged I can proceed to express my outrage. Check this out http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2266691,00.html

Incensed? Angered? Provoked? I certainly am. Especially as this piece of heinous sacrilege came to light just a few short days after I was initiated into my very own Famous Five. I was tremendously excited about our explorations, super sleuthing and discovery of smugglers. And of course, returning home in time for Auntie's famous sarnies.
I, due to my strong masculine physique and air of strapping male leadership, am of course Julian. Chloe is the home-maker and super-feminine Anne, destined for the apron and aga. Frances is the tomboy, ultra feminist, bra-burning George. Claudie is Timmy as she is a mad dog. And Gary's Dick.
A secret handshake has yet to be devised, but plans for picnics of ginger beer, potted meat, fishpaste sandwhiches and cream buns are in full sway. And we shall require some villainous thieves to stalk, as well as jumpers in various pastel shades. Jolly times will be had and lashings of good clean fun, followed by afternoon tea.

Except we shall have to try even harder to continue the hallowed traditions old Blytey endeavoured to maintain in polite society so well, now that all this preposterous 'modernisation' seems to be taking place. The sexism, misogyny, mild racism and childhood obesity through artery clogging clotted cream and sticky buns that Enid was such an afficionado of could be in danger.

She would be turning over in her grave if only it wasn't for the likes of us, fearlessly countering the beastliness of the politically correct world. Hurrah! Top hole! Super!

5 comments:

Ma said...

Did you actually read them then?

Mike said...

I read some of these once - Julian Anne and Dick exist only to provide a foil for George and Timmy. They should really be called The Famous Two And The Three Stooges. George provides the human themes, and Timmy has the best lines.

Fishpaste sandwiches are only in the books to point up the post-war economy background. Fishpaste is revolting, like the special sauces in some Asian places that are made from fish heads that have been allowed to rot for three months and are then mushed up with vinegar. Don't try the fishpaste sandwiches!

anna said...

I never really got into them to be honest... I think I must have developed a sense of the pc and social equality early on. Or maybe it was just an aversion to the idea of fishpaste. Also, they were a little too wholesome. And you know my feelings on wholesomeness - one should be wary of it.

Nicky said...

i developed a trust and a possible friendship with the odd ones who used to sit at the back of the library reading Blyton, back in the days of book club and when tuesday was vailiantly known as library day for class 8/4 of HMS. This mildy amusing friendship based upon the 'immoral' practice known as false friendship or in my mind simply just taking the piss, constistantly ran through untill year 8 at which point these cretins noticed that pastel jumpers and fish cakes was really not going to earn them brownie points amoungst the cool cats that were the readers of books of fantasy and pathetic dungeons and dragons esq plot structures. These people were of course poular due to the knowledge they had of strategic battle moves etc when playing on computer games. I tried in vain to join their group yet was defeated. In hindsight it was probably for the best. N x

Ma said...

Nick - just start your own blog.........