7 March 2008

Paying for Genetics Through the Nose

What would you get if somebody posessed the face of the Disney Sleeping Beauty's Malefacent, the body of The Princess Bride's Fezzick, the arms of Edward Scissorhands, the mind of Stephen Hawking/Jeremy Paxman and the voice of Alan Rickman? A force to be reckoned with is what. It would be so cool...

Unfortunately I only have the ordinary attributes of a rather pathetic adolescent. Except for one thing that I claim absolutely no responsibility for, something that is independant from my body as a whole and that has a mind of its own.

My nose seems to have a seperate circulatory system, going bright red in complete contrast to the rest of me, and is more akin to a tap than to anything of vaguely human origin. Not to mention its total and ill-judged departure from the general asthetic of my face as a cohesive image. 'Characterful' will not cut it.

I may be forced to cut my nose off to spite my face.

If only anatomy could flatter me. But no, it went and shat on me.

6 comments:

Nicky said...

Anatomy issued some form or other of mephitic (for want of a better word as this is rather understated) excreation or seep-age upon all kirk younglings. She spat on you, pissed on jonty and launched a somewhat voluminous regectamenta towards me...u wish. ;)

anna said...

Ok, so quit swallowing the fricking thesaurus child!

Nicky said...

Thesaurus?! How dare you scourn and vilificate my trenchancy! I will impose apprehension to an exteme order of apogee thus rendering you wrong. I divvint use a thesaurus ya knoow! alreet?! its all from me own head! or principal area of intelligence-emittiting neurological electrical impulses.

Ma said...

A spell check wouldn't go amiss Nick......

Anna - at least you haven't got the maternal line of nose, so be grateful for small mercies

Mike said...

I think you have a beautiful nose. It reminds me of someone.

Mike said...

Only just noticed the rhyming couplet. Lovely.