1 March 2007

Possible Murder on the Orator Express

Aaaand... I would also go to Central America and Africa and China. And then I'd go to Texas and Scotland and Afghanistan and Wales, and then New York and Ireland and the South Pole and the North Pole and the West Pole and Newcastle and England and Wales and Trafalgar Square. And South America and Italy. And then Spain, then Australia, then France, then the Moon, then Outer Space...

For the first hour it was truly adorable.

And then I discovered a kangaroo, and koalas and sheep and iguanas. Aaand... also... sharks and whales and beetles. And, and, and... ALIENS! They were from Mars and we went to the Sun and Pluto and Earth and the World. And they were green, and spotty, and purple, and also gold, and silver, and also stripy...

I had now read the sentence I was on in my improving novel 23 times and still not reached the end or understood it.

Aaand...and I invented the Titanic and planes and cars and trains. And tables, and cups, and food, and windows. And also shoes and hats and computers and wigs and slippers and televisions. And plugs, and I became the most famousest person in the whole wide world and earned a million pounds and one thousand trillian dollars so I could buy... do you know what I bought? Do you know mummy? Do you know?

Just say yes, please just say yes. I beg of you woman.

No, darling. What did you buy?

The woman was a masochist. And my worst enemy.

I bought a speedboat, and trainers and a dragon and a sword and a tiger...

By this point a tree had fallen on the track, resulting in a delay. And the boy had not stopped talking, resulting in me wanting to hit something. Hard. Preferably him.

Mummy, can you remember what I had for breakfast? Mummy what did I have? Can you remember? I had sausage, and beans, and cornflakes. And... what else did I have? I had sardines and marshmallows and french fries and...

And I quietly muffled my exasperated sobs and prayed for salvation at the next stop.

3 comments:

Chris said...

good blog title..............

Anonymous said...

I think you should start eating more- in unoffensive way- I should too, i'm also anorexic...in year 11, you've probably noticed. Being anorexic sucks

anna said...

hello anonymous. I realise that you probably wish to remain anonymous, but how did you find this blog and any chance of revealing yourself to me, either on here or in actuality? Find it a bit weird not knowing who this is...