Weeks, nay, months of work came down to just two measly hours, two measly questions, and two measly essays in a freezing cold hall.
Can now ceremoniously burn all notes for English. Hurrah! Ritual burnings of educational material! A pyre of improving works, brought to mere ashes!
Except I can't, as may have re-sits. No burning satisfaction therefore.
No matter however, as some lasting impression was gleaned in the form of a few jolly quotes, immortalised in my mind from repetition and frequent use, forever branded on my brain. These are my favourite...
His urine is congealed ice - summons the pleasantest of images
The rebellion of a codpiece - always amusing
Man, proud man, dressed in little brief authority - sounds impressive, and a little epic
Groping for trouts in a peculiar river - another comical innuendo
Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall - my favourite epic quote, almost Lord of the Rings in tone I think
Th'impression of keen whips I'd wear as rubies and strip myself to death as to a bed - that Isabella is a kinky one; it's always the quiet ones
By God, I was a lusty one! - she says it like it is, that Wife of Bath
By very force he raft her maidenhead - who knew rape could sound so poetic?
I could not withdraw my chamber of Venus from a good fellow - pick up on a running theme?
As a bittern bumbleth in the mire - I just like how this sounds. God knows what it means.
So, you see, something was learnt. Even if it is that the majority of all English literature is sex-obsessed. So that's why so many boys take it in the sixth form.