22 January 2008

Dashed Hopes

Frances Hodgeson Burnett may have been wrong. It is possible that not all girls are actually princesses.

This has come as a short, sharp shock, especially to one who's favourite Disney is Sleeping Beauty, has been classically trained in the art of the curtsey, and is in possession of a tiara.

But I break this sad news after the discovery of something horrible beyond measure: I was sitting on a pea throughout a whole dinner without realising.

Princesses are supposed to be able to detect peas through mountains of mattresses. Yet this one was actually affixed to my derriere and I was none the wiser. I bow my head in shame; I am obviously without the credentials to be a true princess. I lack the necessary qualifications. And have a pea stained ass.

So it's back to the land of peasants and plebs I go, working my weary way out of the fairytale. I may have to consider being a bloodthirsty warrior or woodland sprite instead.

3 comments:

Ma said...

Quite clearly the wrong sort of pea - not the princess detecting type........

Mike said...

Princesses don't exactly have a bed of roses you know. There is the kissing of frogs, getting a prick and falling asleep for a hundred years, dwarfs, etc.

You are better off without being a princess - just dig out that old red riding hood and follow the trail of peas through the forest to the gingerbread house.

anna said...

Thanks for trying to make me feel better. Gingerbread is a far better thing than intimacy with frogs. I hadn't thought of that. Those princesses can come across a bit wussy and wet anyway...