Animal rights? What about computer illiterates, I say.

My mouse is going periodically bonkers.

It is hopping about all over the place completely of its own accord, in a manner far from rodenty, but rather infuriatingly frog like. I will be innocently trying to send an email to a worthy Fairtrade cause (on this occasion, to the androgynously named Silje, a contact at 'worthy cause' headquarters, who must at all times be referred to as 'it' due to not-quite-ascertained gender issues) when all of a sudden I will be linked to a penis enlarging website or highlighting details of how to purchase viagra on the net. The mouse is possessed. And the possessor clearly has erectile issues.

Anyhow, I've had enough of this computing tomfoolery, having spent days staring at screens, brain slowly melting into one big daydream as I try to escape the horrors of YET ANOTHER COMPUTER LESSON. Technically meant for research and, of course, the actual writing of the work. But literally for the purpose of mind- wanderings, planning of nights out, and checking out the J K Rowling website (surprisingly informative- for instance the Weasley's have a cousin named Mafalda). We know their game; it's merely a ruse for Hedley to avoid the sheer ludicracy of teaching us. So by refusing to learn we're cheating the system and playing them at their own game. Suckers.

Mouse going barmy again. Will have to get Fat Hector on the case. Better get out of this technological hellhole.